Sunday 2 June 2013

Doctor Who: The Name Of The Doctor: First Draft Parody Script



Opens with a complicated set on Galifrey with two nameless engineers. We then cut to a jarringly simple set using stock footage of the first Doctor.

Clara
Not that Tardis Doctor, take this one.

Tardis
But I’m the one who chose him?

1st Doctor
Listen ladies, I would feel a lot more rebellious if I was not doing what others told me to do.

Cut to earth 1893

Madame Vastra
I must call everyone to a meeting.

Jenny
Based on the word of a mad man?

Madame Vastra
Isn’t that always the way?

They gather together in a dream.

River Song
This is a really easy way to gather together for plot progression. Why don’t we do it more often? It’s less risky than travelling.

Jenny
I’m not so sure of that I think I’ve been murdered.

Madame Vastra
Noooo!

Strax
Don’t worry boy. People “die” and then return all the time. Death isn’t the hindrance it used to be.

Great Intelligence
If the Doctor wants to rescue his friends he must come to tell the Doctor to come Trenzalore.

Clara
Do you ever think that you are putting too much pressure on yourself by choosing the name of “Great intelligence”?

Great Intelligence
Hmmm I have never considered that… Doh!

#####

Clara
Stop being stupid the kids have left you to play blind mans bluff alone.

Doctor
But I’m the Doctor I have lived for over 900 years.

Clara
Well you and the Great Intelligence will have a magnificent battle of wits. He says that you have to go to some place called Trenzalore

Doctor
Great Scott! That’s the location of my grave. A time traveller must never go there.

Clara
Woah Doc this is heavy.

They travel to Trenzalore with the Tardis fighting it all of the way.

Doctor
What’s the problem darling.

Tardis
Look at the grave, I don’t want to see this.

Great Intelligence
Tell us your name and Open the Tardis! Doctor Who?

Doctor
In 50 years no one has ever cared this much.

The doors open to reveal a big swirling light.

Clara
How original.

Great Intelligence
I will head into the Doctors timeline to erase him from history.

Strax
How is that strategically a good idea? Why not kill him now so that all the villains that he has already defeated won’t come back? They could become your deadly rivals.

Great Intelligence
The universe won’t fall apart completely from the lack of just one man.

The stars start to disappear

Madame
Wow in all the universe there has only been one saviour? How did the Doctor not have a messiah complex?

Clara enters the time stream to save the Doctor

Clara
Ooh clips form the old series this is definitely worth the risk.

Doctor
I must go into my time stream and save her.

River Song
You can’t cross your own time stream that’s crazy.

Doctor
Time can be rewritten. Thankfully so can the rules this series as well.

Clara
I don’t know where I am.

Doctor
Grab this leaf it will bring you back. Good now let’s make like a tree and… uh oh.

Clara
Who is he?

Doctor
A low key but exciting cliff hanger.

Clara
I think time might slow before the 50th anniversary.

Doctor

I think you’re right. Geronimo!

Fin


Copyright © Nathan Groves http://wondersandparodies.blogspot.com/
This Work Is Not To Be Reproduced With Out Permission.

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